Showing posts with label Community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Community. Show all posts

Friday, August 11, 2017

Good Things Come in Threes Too.

Good Things Come in Threes Too.

I was talking with some friends last night over dinner. We were discussing some crazy luck of a mutual friend the week before. It was one of those days where it goes from bad to comical and you either laugh or cry. You know, you spill a drink at dinner and ruin your clothes, then go buy a new dress to change into but get out your car and realize it will not start, and in investigating it, you ruin the new dress you just put on. All true for this friend and thankfully she laughed. One of my friends said as he was remembering the events, “Bad things come in threes!” It does seem that way often.

I was thinking about that this morning while talking to a colleague, Kim, about what an awful week she has had. I mean the work she does is hard even when it is good, but this week has been HARD. She has been on the front-lines, she is battle-worn, and she is weary and when I looked at her today, I could see it in her eyes. She is hurting for all those she has tried to help this week and asking herself, “Why couldn’t I do more? Why couldn’t AGAPE do more? Why is life so hard for so many?”

In her week, there was certainly three ‘bad things’ to list and more. There were mishaps in the systems causing delays and pains for her regular tasks. There were court appearances where the ruling went against our prayers (and we fear for the future for the kids). There was unexpected death leading to much sorrow, heartache and uncertainty for the child left behind.

She just left my office with tears in her eyes ‘cause it keeps getting worse. As I watched her walk away, I said a prayer of thanks. Not for all the hard things, but for the good things that are in the midst of the hard. I said a prayer of appreciation because God brought my new friend and colleague to AGAPE to work with us. Kim brings laughter in the door with her every morning and she brings joy to her calling of helping children and their parents. She is wise like a mentor, but giggles like a girl when she is having fun. Kim is a good thing.  

There was a foster family prepared to step-in immediately and help a young child during the most devastating time in his life-the death of a parent. He is without family, but a temporary family will care for him until he is reunited with his extended family. Foster Parents are a good thing. 

Kim has a job in Nashville where she can be near her grand kids, and Christians serve our community as foster parents because of an organization like AGAPE that exists to help families and children in the worst of circumstances and fills in the gap for many when there is no one else. There is hope, help, and healing because for 50+ years AGAPE has been doing this HARD-WORK. 

AGAPE is a good thing.


Good things come in threes too. 

#justwrite #thisisagape #goodthings

Thursday, June 15, 2017

The Garbage Can.


As I backed out of my driveway this morning, I was reminded that it was Wednesday. Humpday to weary 9-to-5ers, but also garbage day for those of us on the mid-week rotation with Franklin Disposal. I put the Pilot in park. As I wheeled my big blue receptacle to its resting place, I felt a sense of peace. No big deal, I know this. However, there were many Wednesday mornings at the beginning of this 9-year journey that I felt ‘not peace.’ At times I felt sad, or angry, but not usually peace. I remember that first day in May 2008 when I rolled the garbage can back down the driveway in my fuzzy pink bathrobe. It was probably the first time I had done that in 5 years. Always in divide and conquer mode, Brian did garbage can duty. I did morning routine duty. I did hair, sock searches, and refereeing of early morning squabbles over cereal and pop-tarts. Brian did garbage duty for almost 20 years. I remember looking up and seeing my neighbor, Julie, as she watched with tears in her eyes. She also knew that Brian King did garbage duty. Brian was gone.

I was not sure I could do it, not garbage-can-duty, of course. It was everything all at once and nothing would ever be the same. The garbage can became a symbol for me over the years. 
I am not sure why, but I didn’t adjust well to the garbage-can-duty-thing. I was confused about how early the garbage guys would come, and what about holidays? Seems so simple as I type this, but I often found myself trying to race, bed-head and barefoot, to get to the street before the schedule-conscious truck passed, often leaving the can at the curb past the HOA acceptable time limit. This of course causing an appointed deputy of all things Homeowner Association-like to issue me a helpful reminder delivered by personal post. It was a struggle. However, there are many things I handled with ease, much more complicated, time-sensitive, and consequential matters that others might find overwhelming, but I never quite fused the nuances of refuse disposal into my sub-conscious. When I forgot the schedule or missed the memo concerning holiday pick-up in those early days, I can remember just being angry all over again at the thought that garbage-can-duty was supposed to be Brian’s.

In case you were beginning to worry about me, I am actually quite adept at the job of Trash Captain now. I made a deal with “The Man” when I moved to let me leave my “Big-Blue” by the house so there is no remembering to put it on the curb, only to put bags in the can. Smart! This morning, though, I was reminded of all those feelings in those early days, and I realized I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. Peace.

More changes are in store and I am moving into new space again. My baby-girl is out of high school and she is not a baby. She is grown-up. She will not be living with me in just two short months, and I feel different but good. 

It is almost like reluctantly moving to a much smaller home, but then finding out that the view is more amazing.  

I am transitioning to a new place. I am going from I have to, to I get to. I no longer have to have milk in the house because I am responsible for other humans, but I get to cook dinner when everyone comes home because it brings me joy... There will be no lunches to have to pack (even though I enjoyed it) for Hatty this fall, but getting to schedule coffee or lunch with her across town when it works for both of us. She buys her own shampoo and tampons. I don’t have to check the school calendar. I don’t need to pull the parent duty.

I get to choose how I spend my free time. Weird.

 I get to check in with my older girls to see what is important and have meaningful exchanges without the need to make all the decisions for them. I am a silent investor now. I am still deeply vested, but they have their own big-blue-responsibilities and I have mine (Yay). It is the same with the garbage now. It is my big blue receptacle. Who’s else would it be? I get to roll it back to its resting place and be thankful to have a curb on which it can sit, at the corner of a yard, where the house is my own.

#justwrite


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Masterpiece

Excited friends to paint our materpiece
In October, several years ago, I went to one of those paint-it-and-take-it-home-canvas studios with some eager friends on a Saturday night. It was a new craze then, and we were excited to be together for a fun night of painting and laughs. I was not alone in my anticipation of a canvas-trophy worth displaying in my home. We had purposely chosen this night because the colors in The Red Door painting we would create would work well in all our homes.
With blank canvas as our stage, smocks donned and our chosen Starbucks drink at our side, we were ready for our night of art and friendship. Susie, the master-painter, stood at the helm ready to instruct and guide in proper brush technique and paint application. We were enthusiastic students with noble intentions..."Yes we will do exactly as you say Miss Susie because we want to paint a picture just like you."
Me and Martha Brown
When Susie told us to use the big fat brush we all picked it up and dabbed here and there. Then, we tried the smaller brush. Next, we were mixing colors and applying techniques. It was so much fun being an artist! Before long my confidence in my abilities was high and I looked over at my friend Tyra's picture and was disturbed to realize, it looked nothing like my own! My friend Lisa's picture looked nothing like my own!! I got a little stressed. Then, I got behind. Before I could catch up Susie was two steps ahead and I had no idea what to do. So I found myself looking at my friends and asking, "What did I miss?" Thankfully, they told me. But my friends were not experts like Miss Susie, they were, like me, canvas painting novices. I still felt a little stressed.
Susie kept saying, "Don't worry about what it looks like now. Just wait until we add the foliage at the end and it will all come together!" She said this a few times, so at this point I was not so sure. But she was right, it did come together at the end. I did get a picture to take home (maybe not a masterpiece), and so did everyone in the room.
It was so interesting to see the differences in the art around the room. There were no two alike. But somehow, they ALL looked like Susie's. We were all proud of each other as many compliments and smiles were exchanged between old and new friends.
Several things struck me as we ended our journey together that evening:
  • We all started the evening without knowing how we would finish.
  • We all realized each woman tried their best and the individual result was praise-worthy.
  • We found common bond in our imperfection.
Women are so cool sometimes!
I drove home that evening with a wish for our daily journeys to resemble that evening in the painting studio. I wished that we would collectively realize none of us really know what we are doing, but we are in this together. To know we are so different because God made us this way for a reason. He knows some of us will get distracted and fall behind. This is why he gave us a friend who is working toward the same goal. A sojourner following the master painter like us, only a bit farther down the road. We can look to them for help. I just needed some helpful hints to get back on track with my masterpiece. If Tyra had said, "You need to pay attention," I might have never finished my picture. If Lisa had said, "No you are doing it all wrong," I might have gotten discouraged. We need each other, not for reprimand but for a helping hand. And at the end of the evening, my picture is not supposed to look like my friends', it need only resemble the Master's.
I prayed then and do today: "Let me lighten your load, not make it heavier. Before I do anything else worthy: bake a cake for the bake sale, drop off more donations, sign up for the next volunteer slot, let me show mercy to my sister where ever she is on her journey. Amen."

#masterpiece #wearealldaughters #weneedeachother

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Making Your Own Footprints, and What Do Opportunities and Concrete Have in Common?

Walking along the sidewalk on my way back to my office, I noticed some concrete footprints (that is footprints made in the sidewalk as it dried). Well, they didn’t start out as concrete footprints – they started out as an opportunity. Some hardy-footed fellow happened along at the perfect time to impact this six-foot section of walkway and “made the most of his opportunity” (as they say). Others may have passed by that day and chose an altered path, but not my mystery friend with the boots. He stepped up and in and made his lasting mark. I cheer for him with a smile as I walk.
That got me to thinking about opportunities. One of my go-to life verses is in Galatians 6:10a, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good…” This verse reminds me of two things:
  • We all have opportunities to make an impact.
  • Opportunities come, but like drying concrete, they might not last long.
So, while we can, we should make the most of our time and use our opportunities to impact others for good. But a secondary message I understand from Galatians 6 and the stony footprints is that my opportunities are not your opportunities because your journey is not my journey. I can stand in front of the walk and wish I could have made my prints in the mud that day, but it will never change a thing. That was not my opportunity. And, if I spend my days lamenting over opportunities of others, I might just show up too late to my own.
I Corinthians 7:7 helps me here by telling me I have been given my “own gift.” And Romans 12:5 reminds me I am uniquely created and have a role to play in the body of Christ, “So we, who are many, are one body in Christ”. When I put opportunities in the context of my gifts, it makes perfect sense that I will be given unique opportunities to serve and do good so that I can use the gifts God chose for me. I play my role well when I understand this. Uniquely Gifted. Uniquely CommissionedI get it!
One thing I know for sure, I don’t want to miss an opportunity to show up big and make an impact (however small)…if it was an opportunity meant for me. I want to be ready with my boots on to jump in with both feet!

#justwrite #opportunities #footprints

My Honduras Trip Brought Up More What-Ifs than Answers

My mind races from image to image as I mentally catalog the week in Honduras (My Global MBA experience). What an exceptional experience to come and use all our senses to learn about these, not so very, distant cousins of God’s creation in a world so removed from my daily reality.
Everyone who travels to a developing country will certainly be impacted by the contrast to our culture. My thoughts of Honduras will not only rest against the backdrop of the differences I wake to Monday morning in Brentwood, Tennessee, they will rest against extremes in life I found in the proximity of the city of Teguce itself. Yes, my memories of Tegucigalpa will come in pairs of extremes: from surplus to scarcity, from modern to ancient, from sophisticated to simplistic, from corrupt to benevolent, from whim to vision and hope to hopelessness.
As I think back on my pre-trip perceptions of Honduras, I admit I was expecting to be impressed by poverty we would encounter having experienced the culture through mission trips tales of my daughters on several occasions. I was expecting to see children whose eyes would steal your very heart because they have been so neglected and abused by conditions not of their own choosing but of hopeless circumstance. I was expecting to smell unpleasantness and taste the cruel reality of a world in malfunction. What I did not expect was to feel such a connectedness to the people we met in local businesses and the faces of mothers and children in rural locations.

We started our week with a visit to Jovenes en Camino, to tour the boy’s home and I was immediately impressed with the facility and structure and with those committed to providing for 57 boys who live in the home. I kept thinking these boys, who live in community with their playmates and share a surrogate mom and dad with 20 others, are the lucky ones. As much as I am thankful a place like Jovenes exists in Honduras, I was overwhelmed with the enormity of need for hundreds of places just like it that don’t exist. I felt a contrast of emotion, of hope for the 57 boys living within the safety and blessing of Jovenes and hopelessness for thousands who will never have a chance to be safe and blessed. I felt a connectedness with Annie Brown, our 25 year old missionary host, because I had just waved goodbye to my 18 year old daughter to begin her own missionary journey. I wondered, if in a few months she will find herself in a place that will capture her mind and heart and want to stay beyond her internship… As impressed as I am with Annie and her love for Jovenes, my soul is not settled at this thought for my middle child…and yet I know the world needs more young women and men like Annie.
Our next adventure would prove to be the most unsettling, for me at least. Just as we struggled to gain access to a community some two to three hours over nearly impassable roads, I struggle to make sense of the remote and unjust conditions of such a place. We first visited a dark room in a small house where moms, many in their teens, gathered to learn parenting skills from volunteers. Children in their arms, they sat in a circle and waited until each child was weighed and growth was recorded.
I thought to myself, this is a scene that plays out in every corner of the globe. Young moms, trying to do what is best in order to secure a sound future for their children. Do any of us really know what we are doing before we are handed such awesome responsibility in the form of our babies? Don’t we all hope someone will give us some guidance? These sweet volunteer-women were neighbors, but also pediatricians and counselors, teachers and mentors, in a community without professionals with such titles.
We then rode to the preschool and public school in the community. The preschool was run by a sweet lady, who basically worked for free because the $35 a month she was supposed to receive from government funding rarely came and never on time. Child Fund, our hosts for the visit, supported the preschool as well as many programs in the regular elementary and high school next door. I was impressed by the enthusiasm and passion in the voice of this teacher, who for 15 years had poured herself into these children so they might have a better chance.
As we walked to the high school, we could tell something exciting was happening. We would soon realize the excitement was us! The whole school and teachers were present on what was supposed to be a holiday because we were coming. We were greeted by boys on stilts and balloons and dancing and songs. Each group had projects to present and showed us their efforts. Another contrast occurred to me as I watched kids with bright faces full of excitement and potential perform for strangers. How could this be a place where most will only go to third grade? They were amazing and talented. Shouldn’t they get a chance to be just that?
In contrast to these scenes of rural life, we visited several companies and were hosted by some of Tegucigalpa’s leaders in business. What impressed me about our hosts at these companies was their willingness to speak candidly about problems and issues they faced as a nation. They spoke bluntly about crime, corruption, poverty, and perceptions of Honduras, but finished by explaining all the reasons they loved and were proud of their country. No one tried to gloss over issues we all knew existed, but all wanted to make sure we did not miss the many positives about life in such a country of beauty and history and family-culture. At University visits, we were greeted by educators eager to show us their facilities and speak of the future of Honduras through lens of educating its youth.
The remainder of our week we enjoyed some good food, local scenery, and near misses as Miguel, our guide, skillfully (though frighteningly) drove us around. One sight I will not forget will remain a symbol of challenges faced by those who wish to move the country and people of Honduras toward a new day. In the middle of the main thoroughfare is a brand new lane built for bus traffic. It was paid for with political capital and promised to provide an ease to the current traffic nightmare. Instead, it has never been opened and may not be operational for another year, if ever, due to lack of urgency in post-election time. Such a waste of effort and funds! Instead of an improvement, the infrastructure is much worse. This is a symbol in my mind of the inefficiency and lack of vision of the leaders of Honduras.
Finally, I think about the children who asked us repeatedly for money as we climbed in and out of the van. If given an opportunity for a good education, would such spunk to approach a stranger boldly translate into drive and determination in the classroom and then in the business world? I think about the men walking in-between cars at traffic stops, selling canvas prints and fruit, or the boy juggling machetes for cash. What could their lives be, in another setting? I believe at the end of the day the lesson I will hold close from this experience is how I will never know the what-ifs for those men and boys or the what-ifs for myself in their shoes. But I believe I can know for certain that I am not as smart as I am fortunate. I am not as hard-working as I am blessed with resources and opportunities. I was born into circumstances almost guaranteeing my success, if I don’t prosper in this life I have no one to blame but myself. I am so thankful, and I should be.
8/1/14

#whatif #Honduras #justwrite

Do I Have a Ready Answer for the Most Important Question?

I sat across from my new friend Xiaoyu ('Zow U') from China. She is my first student in my new adventure with the FriendSpeak program at church. We meet on Wednesday nights because many like Xiaoyu are new to the U.S., and want to practice their English, make a new friend, and (sometimes PTL!) study the Bible and learn more about God.
Xiaoyu sent me a picture of a church she visited in China

Her home is 7500 miles from Nashville, yet we sit just inches apart. We are alike: we are women who care about husbands, daughters and responsibilities. We laugh easily as we settle into our visit. Her dark eyes and sweet smile bolster my courage and warm my heart. I know she has been reading her Bible and wants to know more. I am so eager to dig my hands into spiritual soil with Xiaoyu that my excitement overrides any trepidation.
As we begin to read in Luke, she looks up with a question. The power of this moment was in its simplicity, and I could feel the words as much as I could hear them. A question asked by maybe millions throughout time and one that must be both asked and answered by everyone who professes Christ. I am sure it has been asked in doubt, cynicism, fear, and frustration. On the contrary, Xiaoyu's face and her tone implied a mix of hope and wonder. She waved her hand over the text and asked just three words, "Is this true?” "Is this true?" I could feel my heart in my chest as I looked into her eyes. How do I answer in a way that will make a difference? I know there is apologetic evidence that I am in no way prepared to present. But then, I realize the answer she seeks is not a tangible one. Woman-to-woman and mom-to-mom, she wonders do I believe these are more than just stories in a book? Is the Bible true to me? In my life, is this true?
I know at that moment I have exactly what I need…an authentic answer. Yes, my friend I believe this is true. In my heart, I know it is true. God had a plan for you and me from before the first sunset. Jesus was not only a man who lived; He is my God who lives still. Praise God, He is real - Everyday. Praise God for those who seek the truth with all their heart, for He will be found (Jer. 29:13). Praise God for Xiaoyu!

#Godisreal #Jesuslovesyou #justwrite